


Breathe

by KonKon38



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, I am so sorry, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, happy ending kind of, this is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 11:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2189931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KonKon38/pseuds/KonKon38
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha wonders what she did to deserve this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> This is short and there's lots of blood but it's just something that came to me.

For 3 months, Natasha had managed to hide it. No one knew a thing. Then Natasha had left for the bathroom while lounging around with the other avengers in the tower. She hadn't come back, but they assumed she had got caught up in something else. Everyone went about their day as Natasha's world crashed around her. She was terrified when she found out about her pregnancy. She was going to terminate it, but... She couldn't do it. She was so scared but she couldn't get rid of her pregnancy. She hadn't quite come to terms with it yet, she never told anyone, she hid her symptoms, she never really let herself think there was an actual child growing inside of her. 

It was over before she had the chance to even try. 

It started with mild bleeding and some cramps. She tried not to panic, maybe this was nothing. But after it didn't go away for several hours... She knew. She resigned herself to the bath tub. She was  in shock as she lay in only a tank top against the cold surface of the tub. She tried to tell herself, maybe it was for the better. She couldn't be a mother, she couldn't raise a child. Not with her lifestyle. The bleeding got heavier and she hadn't meant to start crying. This was it. 

"My baby..." She let out a quiet sob. Her shoulders were shaking as she removed her shirt and turned the water on as hot as she could. It burned, but maybe, just maybe it would make the pain go away. Maybe these were just cramps maybe it was normal. But she knew it wasn't as she lay in the water. She watched as the blood coiled in the water. Slowly turning the water pink. It felt like someone was stabbing her. The pain and the emotional toll began to make her cry harder. 

She decided to leave the tub. She hoisted herself up ever so slowly. Taking small steps as water mixed with blood ran down her legs. She grabbed a couple towels from the cupboard above the toilet. She put one under her and wrapped the other around herself. She ended up squatting because it hurt the least. Of all the things that she had went through, this shattered her heart. It hurt so much she almost fainted. She was wailing at this point, not caring if anyone heard. She couldn't think, she couldn't breathe. She was being robbed of her chance to be a mother. She was being robbed of her baby. She would never see her little girl grow up. She would never get the chance to teach her how to read. Never get to hold her. Never get to see her smile.  Never get to hand her over to Clint and see the look on his face when he saw his daughter. A beautiful, healthy little girl. 

None of  that would ever happen. A terrible cramp seized her body and she screamed in agony. She couldn't bring herself to open her eyes because she knew what she would see

"Natasha? I need you to open the door." Someone had found her. It was Pepper. She couldn't open her eyes, though she couldn't even speak. 

"Jarvis alerted me you were screaming. Natasha please, if you do not let me in I will make Jarvis unlock the door." Natasha was frozen she again didn't respond. She heard a click and Pepper stepped inside the door.

"Oh Tasha... Oh god no." Pepper ran over immediately not caring about the blood and wrapped Natasha in her arms.

"I am so sorry, Natasha. it's going to be alright."  Natasha broke and began to sob again clinging to Pepper.

"My baby! She's gone Pepper... My baby is gone."  She didn't want it to be true. 

"I know, but we need to get you to the hospital.  Jarvis has alerted medical and they should be here any minute." Natasha seized with fear. She pulled back and finally looked at the ground. There she was, a tiny little blob. She vaguely looked human, human enough to make Natasha's soul ache.

"She's so tiny." Natasha whispered. 

"Will they take her? Will they take my baby? They can't. I can't let them take her." Natasha began to panic.

"Natasha, no they won't. You'll be able to bury her, but first we need to make sure you're alright." Pepper felt tears roll down her face, Natasha didn't deserve this. 

"But we need to go Natasha, and get you in the ambulance. I don't think I can carry you though..." 

"Should I call Clint?" Pepper asked, wrapping her arms around Natasha again, holding her tight. Natasha didn't answer. Pepper sighed.

"Jarvis, tell Clint Natasha is hurt and he needs to come here."  A minute passed and Clint walked into what looked like a horror movie.

"Nat! What's wrong?! What happened?!" Pepper moved aside and let Clint grab Natasha.

"I'm sorry..." She whimpered.

"For what?"

"I couldn't do it... I couldn't carry our baby. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, but it's too late."  Her tears soaked into his shirt.

"Medics are here, we need to get her to them." Pepper said as her phone chimed alerting her they had arrived. Clint swallowed heavily and nodded. 

"I'm gonna pick you up, Natasha, okay?" She nodded. He gently lifted her into his arms and Pepper handed him a towel to cover her with. 

The last thing she heard before she blacked out was Clint telling her he loved her and that everything would be okay. 

* * *

 

"Tasha! It's just a dream." She heard Clint yelling at her. She shot up with panic.  Her hands immediately went to the small bump in her stomach. 

"Natasha, what was that about? I've seen you have nightmares, but this wasn't one of the normal ones. You were actually screaming and crying. You punched me in the face when I tried to wake you!"  Natasha smiled slightly and wiped the tears from her face.

"I dreamt that I was pregnant and... I had a miscarriage." She couldn't look at him, just thinking about the dream made her want to cry all over again. He gently pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry."  She couldn't shake the guilt surging through her. She had to tell him.

"Clint, I'm pregnant." He froze.

"What?"

"I'm pregnant. That's why I had the nightmare." 

"What are we gonna do? What do you want to do?" He was shocked, but Natasha was upset and he needed to be strong for her.

"I can't lose our baby, not after that. I know this is risky, but... I want to keep it."  She bit her lip and looked away from Clint.

"Hey look at me." She slowly turned her eyes to his.

"We're having a baby." He smiled adoringly at her before he pulled her into a long kiss. She had needed that, the feeling of his lips against hers. She was scared but she knew she would always have Clint. That they could get through this. He pulled away and carefully put his hand on the small bump of her abdomen. 

"Yeah... I guess we are." She whispered as she fell back to sleep in his arms. 


End file.
